The Worst of the NFL: Stillers v Bengals MNF

John Gruden: He had me pining for Cris Collinsworth. If he wasn't such a football addict, he's be just your typical meatheat. But because 87% of his is dedicated to football, he's operating on 13% capacity to accomplish routine activities. I bet he needs someone to tie his shoes and brush his teeth. And his … Continue reading The Worst of the NFL: Stillers v Bengals MNF

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Please, Please, Come For My Guns After I Pissed Away So Much Of My Life Hiding Them

For God’s sake, come for my guns. Come get ‘em. Someone…anyone. I’m begging you. Come for my guns. I can’t let a decade’s worth of hiding and booby trapping my totally bitchen arsenal go down the tubes. Hey, Obama bin Laden! You may be windsurfing with Richard Branson these days instead of plotting to unleash … Continue reading Please, Please, Come For My Guns After I Pissed Away So Much Of My Life Hiding Them

America NEEDS Donald Trump

Contrary to denunciations, Donald Trump indeed made the predicted presidential pivot after being sworn-in as the 45th President of the United States. Unfortunately, the pivot was 360 degrees. And that's good. Donald Trump is only going to be loonier, and more destructive. And that's good too. America needs an egotistical, bigoted, narcissistic, ignorant, morally indifferent, … Continue reading America NEEDS Donald Trump

We Are The Good Guys

-orginally published in Crooked Lullabies, 3/24/13.-to my son, Uri. We are the good guys. We are the merrymakers dancing among the fires of the apocalypse. We are the heretics screeching from the bell tower above the smoke plumes. We are the carousers laughing while the pharaoh chokes. I’d spent nine months imagining my reaction the … Continue reading We Are The Good Guys

The Vultures Salivates On Your Patriotism

Why do so many conservatives regard Obama with such wrath? Evidence of the blind hate of Obama is too pervasive, from the highest office to the most-rural voter. Within twenty seconds of taking the Oath of Office, President Trump took an executive hatchet to heaps of Obama-orchestrated legislation—sans litigation, contemplation, or deliberation. Consequences to the … Continue reading The Vultures Salivates On Your Patriotism